Since a lot of people believe that without friends they might die alone with cats in a stinky old apartment, I guess I just wanted to share my take on friends.
First of all, if you are annoyed that people judge you too superficially, I am too. However, there is a line to draw. I judge people base on how they look or dress too. You complain about it but you do it too. Don't deny it. Everyone does. Even if a little. If a man walks in with a tailored jacket and shoes from Armani, you would judge that he is probably rich. Looks do play a part. Call me superficial but you know it is true. If you are a girl who doesn't shave your pits, or your'e a boy who never showers and has greasy, messy hair, people would avoid you. It is not that they're very superficial but because that is truly unhygienic.
Of course the mean girls with $2000 hair-dos and mini skirts who pick on bigger sized girls are just plain wrong. When i judge based on looks and dressing, I meant hygiene and looking presentable. If a girl wears a glittery million dollar dress to MacDonalds I would think shes stuck up but if she wears a ketchup-stained tank top to a gala, I would think she is pure crazy. However, there are mean people who pick on people just for wearing clothes that are too "yesterday". THAT ticks me off.
Right, now that that is settled and I suppose I have driven my point across, I just want to say I don't get why some people depend on their friends so much. Going to the bathroom together all the time like as if you have peelepathy (pee-telepathy). It's like your bladders share the same mind or communicate so both of you would be stuck like glue. Either that, or you are not potty trained and need help. If that is so, it is just weird. Or when you cry and mourn like WWIII just ended when your friend leaves you.
I'm not saying you shouldn't depend on your friends. If you trust them enough to be your friend I'm sure they are very dependable. However you shouldn't be so dependable to the point that you can;t live or do anything without them. Sure, losing a friend is sad. I have lost tons but it never meant the end of the world to me. Friends build each other up and encourage other but I always believed that once someone's purpose in your life is fulfilled, they would go. They could choose not to but often than not they do. Some might return occasionally to give you a pat on the back to assure you you aren't forgotten but they rarely stay. Then there are lifelong friends. It may sound contradictory to the point I'm making but it isn't. Lifelong friends just mean that they have bigger purposes in your life. I always believed God put people and took them away from your life for reasons.
Friends come and friends go. To be honest, I haven't found a best friend. I mean I do have best friends. I just haven't found ONE. I guess it is good too. I have lots of friends but some of them just top the charts. So although this sounds a lot like objectifying them, I place them in categories. So basically my best friend in church would probably be Emmanuel, while my best friend in school is prob Ruth. Best friend in high school. Rennes and Wen Kai. See, I have a lot of best friends. I guess that is why it isn't so bad when one of them leaves my life. Of course, I have one lifelong friend who is really close to my heart. I know he'll be there for me always and I guess he tops all my best friends. That's Nick but of course you don't know him. Awesome guy. Amazingly talented and kind. Also pretty easy on the eyes.
Point is, I have a lot of friends but I don't have to spend every single waking moment having them by my side. Your friends need their time too. Close or not, they have other friends too. You can't expect them to tag along your life and neglect their other friends. They're lives don't revolve around you.
I guess choosing your friends wisely is important too. I know it is a cliche to say that if you mix with the wrong crowd you might end up in trouble but it is pretty true. I had friends who transformed into completely different people. It scares me sometimes to see how much both my friends and I have changed. It is a part of growing up but changing for the worse is never good. To be honest, it kind of hurts to see some of my friends get in trouble with the law or make a mess out of their lives but I am still glad I distanced from them. God sure knew what he was doing when I lost my phone with all their numbers and led me to a school where none of them are in. I honestly believe that if I continued hanging out with them a lot, I wouldn't be who I am today. Not that I am very successful or doing amazing with butlers and mansions but I am getting by with decent grades, a future and still walking with God.
I have seen people pick schools or courses just because their friends is picking that too. It shouldn't be that way. It is okay to listen to your friend's advice but to let every single decision of their life influence yours, that is just wrong. In the end, it is your life and you might not pick what you like. Suffering in Chemistry rather than learning pottery your secret dream just because it is your friend's dream even though you know nuts about the periodic table. Or driving 1 hour to school just because you wanted to get into the same college as your best friend. Like I said, friend build each other up. If he/ she is your true friend, they would advice you or bribe you to be with them but in the end, they would let you do what you think is best for yourself.
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