Yes, I have a test coming up and yes, I should be studying and filling my head with the words of my text instead of typing this. However, every 3 lines I skim through seem to give me a greater excuse to wander to the memories of my life.
Or more specifically, the memories of travelling.
I must say I am one very fortunate child. By the age of 18, I have traveled to Jordan, Israel, Australia, China, Japan, Malaysia (although in your defense, Malaysia is just a bus ride away), Vietnam, Indonesia, Korea, Taiwan, Thailand and a few other places I cant remember off the top of my head right now. I am not bragging though, but through all travels, I've learnt a few things, or probably in my case formed my opinions about a few things that people should do when they are travelling.
I cant lie. I love travelling. From the hectic packing to hopping on a plane, taking typical shots of boarding passes and just experiencing another country. Hence forth, here are some things I want to share that I've learnt from my parents and my personal experiences.
1. No child is ever too "young" to travel.
I have heard many new parents tell me they have decided to put off travelling until their child is older and easier to bring along but what they don't get is that they are missing the best years to take their child out to see a different sight, experience something new. The first time I traveled with my parents was when I could first walk. A 2 year old in tow really teaches the child to fully trust you. Also, when they are young, its the only time they truly want to travel with you. The moment I was 14 and took my first flight without my mother, I never wanted to again. Never miss the precious moments of when they still want to play with you and be around you. most parents work all day and come home just in time to eat dinner and kiss their children goodnight, so travelling together as a family could mean the only time you get to see your child's face light up in the sun and take a million picturesque photos before they grow up and think taking pictures with you is "uncool".
2. Not everything needs a picture.
I think mother nature is just amazing but if we can only appreciate it trough the lens of the camera then what is the point? You could always take a trip down "Google street" and see the amazing sights. Everything is much more beautiful in real life. Don't miss the real moments by trying to capture something else. See with your eyes and feel with every part of your skin. When I was in Disneyland with my mother in 2012, she spent an hour by the entrance snapping so many photos she never really got time to see the inside and the magic of everything. Pictures are important but if your vision is constantly framed by the lenses of a camera, its time to put it down and just appreciate the moments and the surroundings.
3. Try everything you cant find back home.
Yes, Im talking about food. I love eating with the passion of a hungry lion but when I was a kid, I was so picky, or in my case, I was really just adamant on eating rice. Travelling really broke that habit. (Parents, this is another reason to take your children travelling) I'm not talking about trying delicacies of some countries like Duck Embryo (Philippines) or weird creatures on sticks (China), I'm talking about things more sane but exotic at the same time. You could go the extreme end of food tasting, but I probably wont. In fact, visiting Thailand and Vietnam really broke that habit. Sure they served rice too but the way they cooked stuff was simply different. I didn't want to try at first but I knew I would end up hungry, so in went the local food and my taste buds thanked food- heaven for creating what I ate.
(If you ever go Taiwan, you need to try their smelly Tofu. It smells, but boy, is it good. Oh, and squid inked ice-cream from Japan *winks*)
4. Stay in a backpackers hostel at least once or twice.
It will radically change your experience and travel memories. Sure, they aren't as luxurious as classy hotels and they don't provide you with free toiletries you can take home but it is like a mini community. Besides, they are cheaper. Maybe its the inner-hippie in me talking but the late night chats by the common area got me acquainted with some pretty interesting people. I met people from all over the world on different travelling reasons, ambitions and life stories and they are usually welcoming and fun. They were all nice and I thought all of them knew each other for long since they shared drinks/ snacks and talked about their Favorite sports clubs like old friends do. I can remember feeling like maybe we were in the cast of some weird family Christmas movie that I didn't know starred me.
5. Learn and respect their traditions.
When you travel, NEVER expect an entire country to compromise to your cultures and common habits. They shouldn't have to because you are a guest in their country. You should follow their customs. If you go to Japan, learn the right way to call elders (elder: San. Someone of a lower rank than you, e.g a child, Chan.), be on time and learn how to use the chopsticks the right way. Korea, bow to elders. Vietnam, respect the traffic and follow their norms instead of trying to complain about the amount of motorcycles cruising the road (Tip: Just keep walking. They don't exactly have traffic lights and the motorcycles will slow down like a slow-mo of the red sea to let you pass.) If you're going to a very culture influenced country, remember to do your research or you could end up offending a lot of people. Also, through all that I've learnt always, ALWAYS be sensitive to what you say. Not every country is liberal and some people are brought up differently.
6. Witness a cultural tradition.
Be it a religious dance or a tea ceremony in China, this will bring back so much memories. If you embarrass yourself and people forgive you, it could be a great story to tell too! I'm not talking about participating in cult activities, that's a little extreme but little cultural things Even though you many not share the religious background of someone, you can always witness it. Don't be a daft prick living in your own world. People should live in harmony and the best way is to accept each other. you don't have to agree, you just have to accept that people an be different from you. Plus, you cant exactly say you "understand" something if you don't try to experience or even witness it. Heck, if you witness a wedding, even better! In fact, I was asked to be part of Vietnamese wedding photo shoot just because I happen to be at the right place at the right time, commenting that the bride was beautiful and next thing you know, the couple wanted a photo with me.
7. Learn a new language and use it.
Or just the greetings. People may laugh at you but what harm can it get? You probably made someone's day ir they could help you out! Its not like they are going to video tape you and show it to everyone on YouTube. Chances are, they are actually amused and impressed. At least I always am. When a Caucasian tourist tries to say hi to me in Chinese I think its hearting that they are trying to connect. Right, and did I mention it might come in handy as well?
8. Take public transport.
Sure, getting around in a car or a tour bus is relaxing and you don't need think but why do that when you can see what a day in a regular local's life is like. Maybe not join in the bustle but personally I feel that taking the trains in different countries is pretty fun. You get to meet the locals, you can compare how different train systems are and stuff like that. I even got a free bus ride in Australia just because the bus driver thought it was cool I hopped onto their public buses just. Oh, and if you have terrible itenary-planning skills like me, you can just do what I do. Hop on a train, drop off wherever sounds fun and figure your way around. That really forced me to read maps and ask for directions. After all, it should be an adventure right?
9. Do something you normally wouldn't do.
Let the trip be one of adventure, whims and fancy. There's a reason why people talk about falling in love in another country. Because in a different country everything is surreal. Nothing is part of your reality or your norm which is why it makes it a fantasy. Hence, do something your normally wouldn't do. Too afraid to sing in front of a crowd normally? Go for an open mic night and just do it. If you mess up, at least you'd know there's no one you know in the crowd and it is not like you will see these people ever again. Never thought you might swim with whales, heck, book a trip to do so. Normally wouldn't stomp on rapes to make your own wine and drink it, do it! So what if you get hurt a little? I always say, "You never know until you try." I tried doing a little mountain biking stunt thing in Karri Valley, Australia, fell and had 9 stitches. Did I regret it? Not one bit. At least I learnt to check my brakes from then on. Volunteer to be picked for shows that include audiences because chances of you ever returning is low and don't be shy. Do'nt return home and say "I wish I got to help shear a sheep" or "I cant believe I missed the opportunity to dance on stage with my favorite childhood band.". Never let such silly regrets ruin your amazing stories.
10. Keep an open mind and be flexible.
About everything. Including meeting people. Have I ever told you I was in the WWI memorial museum in Israel when I ran head on into the president of Poland. Yes, all I saw was a blur of blue (also known as his belly cos I was and still am a short human being). Thank God I was only 13 cos if I did that now I think his guards would have pinned me down. His companions were all shocked but I honestly wasnt looking. but you see, I now have a fascinating story to tell people. Well, this is the open mind part. You never know who youd meet, what you might have to do or what youd see. However, the internet is just a tiny place compared to the world. Be flexible to change in plans and an open mind to try everything you can because in the end, these memories are shaped by yourself.
11. Contrary to popular belief, you do'nt have to be rich to travel.
There are ways to travel cheap. They've got trains, ships, bikes, hostels, kind people's houses... Etc. travelling is not just for the rich, its for everyone. Or at least everyone who is willing to give it a shot. Sure travelling when you're rich is easy because all the expensive stuff gets promoted but to really research and find cheap accommodations, sometimes you'll get to experience new things. Hotels are all the same usually anyways. So why don't you give it a spin to your trip. People will really envy your courage too.
I am going to end here. I have way more takeaways from all my trips but in the general sense, culture is very important for me. Both as an artist and a traveler. I get so much inspiration for artworks from architecture, food, art in different cultures and religions and my experiences. Not every trip presents sunsets by mountains, Ive seen harsh things like famine, earthquakes, hunger, abandonment. But these things make me who I am, the beliefs I have about people and my love for people and food.
Travel for the good and the bad. Travel, just because.
"Those who do not truly travel only see one page of a book"-Anonymous.
"Those who do not truly travel only see one page of a book. Those who try to experience it through Google are simply blind."- Me
Love,
Cheryl Spacemonkey (13th January 2014)
Monday, 13 January 2014
Tertiary Education
Tertiary education.
Such is the name of the hell hole Im currently living. At least that is how Im seeing it for now. Since the O'level results have been finally released and some of you are going to look out for advice on where you would want to further your studies, maybe I can help by giving you my perspective.
When I was in Secondary School, people always told me going to a Polytechnic (Poly) would be easier than Junior College (JC). They lied. I'm not saying that JC is an easier feat. I feel that both has its stressors.While Poly is more task oriented, if you cant manage your time well, you would be thrown into a sea of confusion flailing your arms at passer bys who dont notice you simply because they are buried under all the work they are busy with. However, the type of stress is different. Plus, there are perks. You learn life skills. Things like organisation, leadership, liaising with real organisations, networking, presentation skills and working in a team. Sure, it sounds like a bunch of team bonding camp crap but the truth is tat companies now dont look at how many essays you can write and how quick you can type on the calculator, but things that would really help the company forward and trust me, people skills is one of the very important factors they look for. Someone who can get things professionally organised and lead a team.
Take business for example. Who cares if you can memorise the periodic table or draw graphs with a fancy schmancy calculator. That is what google and computer programmes are for. Recently, I took a module in statistics and at the same time, my friends in JC were learning statistics. My lecturer simply tested us on how well we understood how to use the system (also known as SPSS) while the JC students were leaning how to count the average/ mean/ whatever the nonsense we had to count using a calculator when the computer system calculates EVERYTHING for me with the click of 3 buttons.
You see, the recent movie in 2013, "Monsters University" portrays exactly everyone's fears. What you study so hard for may not even be applicable to the real world. Basically they graduated a scarers but laater on in their work life figured that collecting laughs were 10x more effective. So I didnt want to spend 2 years in an institution being taught things that I probably wouldnt use in the uture when I could be doing things to give me the "X" factor people talk bout.
I may be biased, but I have a rule. Its to never organise anything with a JC student. They are ook smart but things dont always go by the rules. You need to know how to bend and weave to situations. Its not like poly teaches you that, but they throw you into the sea and you just figure it out on your own in the end.I feel that the JC system in Singapore simply spoon feeds us. It is crazy stressful but in the end, who care is you can write a 600 word essay in half an hour?
Ultimately, we all just want to get a good job with a good pay. So my post may be biased and I have a lot more to say, but Im too lazy and I have got a test to study for. Hence, I shall end it here, good bye and all the best for everything.
Oh, and before I click "publish", really, just do whatever you want. In the end it's your own walk with life. People can give you all the opinions they want, but it is your own that should really matter to anyone!
Such is the name of the hell hole Im currently living. At least that is how Im seeing it for now. Since the O'level results have been finally released and some of you are going to look out for advice on where you would want to further your studies, maybe I can help by giving you my perspective.
When I was in Secondary School, people always told me going to a Polytechnic (Poly) would be easier than Junior College (JC). They lied. I'm not saying that JC is an easier feat. I feel that both has its stressors.While Poly is more task oriented, if you cant manage your time well, you would be thrown into a sea of confusion flailing your arms at passer bys who dont notice you simply because they are buried under all the work they are busy with. However, the type of stress is different. Plus, there are perks. You learn life skills. Things like organisation, leadership, liaising with real organisations, networking, presentation skills and working in a team. Sure, it sounds like a bunch of team bonding camp crap but the truth is tat companies now dont look at how many essays you can write and how quick you can type on the calculator, but things that would really help the company forward and trust me, people skills is one of the very important factors they look for. Someone who can get things professionally organised and lead a team.
Take business for example. Who cares if you can memorise the periodic table or draw graphs with a fancy schmancy calculator. That is what google and computer programmes are for. Recently, I took a module in statistics and at the same time, my friends in JC were learning statistics. My lecturer simply tested us on how well we understood how to use the system (also known as SPSS) while the JC students were leaning how to count the average/ mean/ whatever the nonsense we had to count using a calculator when the computer system calculates EVERYTHING for me with the click of 3 buttons.
You see, the recent movie in 2013, "Monsters University" portrays exactly everyone's fears. What you study so hard for may not even be applicable to the real world. Basically they graduated a scarers but laater on in their work life figured that collecting laughs were 10x more effective. So I didnt want to spend 2 years in an institution being taught things that I probably wouldnt use in the uture when I could be doing things to give me the "X" factor people talk bout.
I may be biased, but I have a rule. Its to never organise anything with a JC student. They are ook smart but things dont always go by the rules. You need to know how to bend and weave to situations. Its not like poly teaches you that, but they throw you into the sea and you just figure it out on your own in the end.I feel that the JC system in Singapore simply spoon feeds us. It is crazy stressful but in the end, who care is you can write a 600 word essay in half an hour?
Ultimately, we all just want to get a good job with a good pay. So my post may be biased and I have a lot more to say, but Im too lazy and I have got a test to study for. Hence, I shall end it here, good bye and all the best for everything.
Oh, and before I click "publish", really, just do whatever you want. In the end it's your own walk with life. People can give you all the opinions they want, but it is your own that should really matter to anyone!
Friday, 15 February 2013
Opinions on War
Read the news, books and listen to people talk. War happens everywhere and all the time. Be it war over who gets more assets in a divorce or who has more rights and means to sue or war between countries, don't people find this all really silly?
The same people who created schools that teach children's to make peace, to love and to empathize go out to create wars?
I may only be 18 and I don't dabble in politics or "adult business" but the last time I checked these are the same people that were suppose to. To model behaviors for us to follow?
So can you see my confusion? On one hand I am told, "Do not fight or argue, make peace with each other" but you do the complete opposite.
Because of wars, millions of lives are lost. So if you tell me playing violent games is the reason why youths are aggressive , I say bullshit. The violent games we play model after real wars and mirror real weapons and fighting techniques. Violent wars started way before violent video games were created.
As a youth, I understand what it means about being impressionable. We learn from what we see. Sure you may say that we watch or learn what we choose to. However since we are so impressionable, we monkey see monkey do. People should understand that.
Maybe if people spent more time fighting for things that matter like the truth, love, trust, a more personal world, maybe children, youths and everyone else would not have such a catastrophic worldview and had more positive influences to model their lives after.
People need to know that people care. That things like kindness and empathy still exists. I know it does but does everyone? More and more people feel lonely. Maybe instead of focusing on how horrid the world has been we can think about positive things.
Cheryl. 15 February 2013
The same people who created schools that teach children's to make peace, to love and to empathize go out to create wars?
I may only be 18 and I don't dabble in politics or "adult business" but the last time I checked these are the same people that were suppose to. To model behaviors for us to follow?
So can you see my confusion? On one hand I am told, "Do not fight or argue, make peace with each other" but you do the complete opposite.
Because of wars, millions of lives are lost. So if you tell me playing violent games is the reason why youths are aggressive , I say bullshit. The violent games we play model after real wars and mirror real weapons and fighting techniques. Violent wars started way before violent video games were created.
As a youth, I understand what it means about being impressionable. We learn from what we see. Sure you may say that we watch or learn what we choose to. However since we are so impressionable, we monkey see monkey do. People should understand that.
Maybe if people spent more time fighting for things that matter like the truth, love, trust, a more personal world, maybe children, youths and everyone else would not have such a catastrophic worldview and had more positive influences to model their lives after.
People need to know that people care. That things like kindness and empathy still exists. I know it does but does everyone? More and more people feel lonely. Maybe instead of focusing on how horrid the world has been we can think about positive things.
Cheryl. 15 February 2013
Friday, 5 October 2012
Opinions on Friends
Since a lot of people believe that without friends they might die alone with cats in a stinky old apartment, I guess I just wanted to share my take on friends.
First of all, if you are annoyed that people judge you too superficially, I am too. However, there is a line to draw. I judge people base on how they look or dress too. You complain about it but you do it too. Don't deny it. Everyone does. Even if a little. If a man walks in with a tailored jacket and shoes from Armani, you would judge that he is probably rich. Looks do play a part. Call me superficial but you know it is true. If you are a girl who doesn't shave your pits, or your'e a boy who never showers and has greasy, messy hair, people would avoid you. It is not that they're very superficial but because that is truly unhygienic.
Of course the mean girls with $2000 hair-dos and mini skirts who pick on bigger sized girls are just plain wrong. When i judge based on looks and dressing, I meant hygiene and looking presentable. If a girl wears a glittery million dollar dress to MacDonalds I would think shes stuck up but if she wears a ketchup-stained tank top to a gala, I would think she is pure crazy. However, there are mean people who pick on people just for wearing clothes that are too "yesterday". THAT ticks me off.
Right, now that that is settled and I suppose I have driven my point across, I just want to say I don't get why some people depend on their friends so much. Going to the bathroom together all the time like as if you have peelepathy (pee-telepathy). It's like your bladders share the same mind or communicate so both of you would be stuck like glue. Either that, or you are not potty trained and need help. If that is so, it is just weird. Or when you cry and mourn like WWIII just ended when your friend leaves you.
I'm not saying you shouldn't depend on your friends. If you trust them enough to be your friend I'm sure they are very dependable. However you shouldn't be so dependable to the point that you can;t live or do anything without them. Sure, losing a friend is sad. I have lost tons but it never meant the end of the world to me. Friends build each other up and encourage other but I always believed that once someone's purpose in your life is fulfilled, they would go. They could choose not to but often than not they do. Some might return occasionally to give you a pat on the back to assure you you aren't forgotten but they rarely stay. Then there are lifelong friends. It may sound contradictory to the point I'm making but it isn't. Lifelong friends just mean that they have bigger purposes in your life. I always believed God put people and took them away from your life for reasons.
Friends come and friends go. To be honest, I haven't found a best friend. I mean I do have best friends. I just haven't found ONE. I guess it is good too. I have lots of friends but some of them just top the charts. So although this sounds a lot like objectifying them, I place them in categories. So basically my best friend in church would probably be Emmanuel, while my best friend in school is prob Ruth. Best friend in high school. Rennes and Wen Kai. See, I have a lot of best friends. I guess that is why it isn't so bad when one of them leaves my life. Of course, I have one lifelong friend who is really close to my heart. I know he'll be there for me always and I guess he tops all my best friends. That's Nick but of course you don't know him. Awesome guy. Amazingly talented and kind. Also pretty easy on the eyes.
Point is, I have a lot of friends but I don't have to spend every single waking moment having them by my side. Your friends need their time too. Close or not, they have other friends too. You can't expect them to tag along your life and neglect their other friends. They're lives don't revolve around you.
I guess choosing your friends wisely is important too. I know it is a cliche to say that if you mix with the wrong crowd you might end up in trouble but it is pretty true. I had friends who transformed into completely different people. It scares me sometimes to see how much both my friends and I have changed. It is a part of growing up but changing for the worse is never good. To be honest, it kind of hurts to see some of my friends get in trouble with the law or make a mess out of their lives but I am still glad I distanced from them. God sure knew what he was doing when I lost my phone with all their numbers and led me to a school where none of them are in. I honestly believe that if I continued hanging out with them a lot, I wouldn't be who I am today. Not that I am very successful or doing amazing with butlers and mansions but I am getting by with decent grades, a future and still walking with God.
I have seen people pick schools or courses just because their friends is picking that too. It shouldn't be that way. It is okay to listen to your friend's advice but to let every single decision of their life influence yours, that is just wrong. In the end, it is your life and you might not pick what you like. Suffering in Chemistry rather than learning pottery your secret dream just because it is your friend's dream even though you know nuts about the periodic table. Or driving 1 hour to school just because you wanted to get into the same college as your best friend. Like I said, friend build each other up. If he/ she is your true friend, they would advice you or bribe you to be with them but in the end, they would let you do what you think is best for yourself.
First of all, if you are annoyed that people judge you too superficially, I am too. However, there is a line to draw. I judge people base on how they look or dress too. You complain about it but you do it too. Don't deny it. Everyone does. Even if a little. If a man walks in with a tailored jacket and shoes from Armani, you would judge that he is probably rich. Looks do play a part. Call me superficial but you know it is true. If you are a girl who doesn't shave your pits, or your'e a boy who never showers and has greasy, messy hair, people would avoid you. It is not that they're very superficial but because that is truly unhygienic.
Of course the mean girls with $2000 hair-dos and mini skirts who pick on bigger sized girls are just plain wrong. When i judge based on looks and dressing, I meant hygiene and looking presentable. If a girl wears a glittery million dollar dress to MacDonalds I would think shes stuck up but if she wears a ketchup-stained tank top to a gala, I would think she is pure crazy. However, there are mean people who pick on people just for wearing clothes that are too "yesterday". THAT ticks me off.
Right, now that that is settled and I suppose I have driven my point across, I just want to say I don't get why some people depend on their friends so much. Going to the bathroom together all the time like as if you have peelepathy (pee-telepathy). It's like your bladders share the same mind or communicate so both of you would be stuck like glue. Either that, or you are not potty trained and need help. If that is so, it is just weird. Or when you cry and mourn like WWIII just ended when your friend leaves you.
I'm not saying you shouldn't depend on your friends. If you trust them enough to be your friend I'm sure they are very dependable. However you shouldn't be so dependable to the point that you can;t live or do anything without them. Sure, losing a friend is sad. I have lost tons but it never meant the end of the world to me. Friends build each other up and encourage other but I always believed that once someone's purpose in your life is fulfilled, they would go. They could choose not to but often than not they do. Some might return occasionally to give you a pat on the back to assure you you aren't forgotten but they rarely stay. Then there are lifelong friends. It may sound contradictory to the point I'm making but it isn't. Lifelong friends just mean that they have bigger purposes in your life. I always believed God put people and took them away from your life for reasons.
Friends come and friends go. To be honest, I haven't found a best friend. I mean I do have best friends. I just haven't found ONE. I guess it is good too. I have lots of friends but some of them just top the charts. So although this sounds a lot like objectifying them, I place them in categories. So basically my best friend in church would probably be Emmanuel, while my best friend in school is prob Ruth. Best friend in high school. Rennes and Wen Kai. See, I have a lot of best friends. I guess that is why it isn't so bad when one of them leaves my life. Of course, I have one lifelong friend who is really close to my heart. I know he'll be there for me always and I guess he tops all my best friends. That's Nick but of course you don't know him. Awesome guy. Amazingly talented and kind. Also pretty easy on the eyes.
Point is, I have a lot of friends but I don't have to spend every single waking moment having them by my side. Your friends need their time too. Close or not, they have other friends too. You can't expect them to tag along your life and neglect their other friends. They're lives don't revolve around you.
I guess choosing your friends wisely is important too. I know it is a cliche to say that if you mix with the wrong crowd you might end up in trouble but it is pretty true. I had friends who transformed into completely different people. It scares me sometimes to see how much both my friends and I have changed. It is a part of growing up but changing for the worse is never good. To be honest, it kind of hurts to see some of my friends get in trouble with the law or make a mess out of their lives but I am still glad I distanced from them. God sure knew what he was doing when I lost my phone with all their numbers and led me to a school where none of them are in. I honestly believe that if I continued hanging out with them a lot, I wouldn't be who I am today. Not that I am very successful or doing amazing with butlers and mansions but I am getting by with decent grades, a future and still walking with God.
I have seen people pick schools or courses just because their friends is picking that too. It shouldn't be that way. It is okay to listen to your friend's advice but to let every single decision of their life influence yours, that is just wrong. In the end, it is your life and you might not pick what you like. Suffering in Chemistry rather than learning pottery your secret dream just because it is your friend's dream even though you know nuts about the periodic table. Or driving 1 hour to school just because you wanted to get into the same college as your best friend. Like I said, friend build each other up. If he/ she is your true friend, they would advice you or bribe you to be with them but in the end, they would let you do what you think is best for yourself.
NOTICE
Hello everyone!
Well, everything is starting to get pretty hectic so I have decided to post weekly rather than daily despite the millions of views I want to share. Hope all of you understand and keep reading! I have also decided to keep it to every Friday or Saturday. I have not quite worked it out but I plan to keep this blog on a regular schedule.
Thank you so much for reading!
Lots of love,
Cheryl Ng
Well, everything is starting to get pretty hectic so I have decided to post weekly rather than daily despite the millions of views I want to share. Hope all of you understand and keep reading! I have also decided to keep it to every Friday or Saturday. I have not quite worked it out but I plan to keep this blog on a regular schedule.
Thank you so much for reading!
Lots of love,
Cheryl Ng
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Opinions on Public Manners
Have you been on trains and have crazy old women screaming at you to give them your seats? Or on the bus and someone decides to blast music loudly interrupting your thoughts? Or maybe getting shoved aside when you're holding the door for a stranger?
These are the little things that get to me. Sure you make think you aren't affecting anyone but in fact it does. A simple "thank you" or a smile would do. No one needs to see you grumble and grouch throwing your temper at random strangers. It really does get to me. There are just some things that really get to me. I know manners sound really stupid to be a blog post. Yes, I know I probably sound like your mother or your wife nagging at you to have some basic manners but some things are taught for a reason.
One of which is shoving. Just because you are in a hurry doesn't mean it gives you the right to jostle people around. The temptation is huge. Trust me. I have been there. Whenever I'm late for classes everyone seems to be walking with crutches. Then again, it still isn't right to jostle people around. You are not the king of the world. Just because you are in a bad mood or simply in a rush, you still can't expect people to instantly form a line with a red carpet for you to stroll across. In fact half the people you are pushing around to get your way would spend the next 3 minutes trying to process what just happened. To be honest, a simple "excuse me", or "I'm sorry" would do.
Then comes the people who blast music EVERYWHERE. Or as I call them, "stereos". Haven't you people heard of earphones? Just because you like your music doesn't mean I have to like it too. If you could afford an iPod, earphones are not that expensive. Maybe you should try them out some time. Of course, I have to admit, I had some pretty hilarious experiences.
Once, I got on the bus heading home and a tough looking guy with tattoos and piercings came on as well. We tapped out cards and we happened to stand next to each other on the sardine-packed bus. He took out he iPhone, flipped through his playlist and the song that came on shocked me. It was the kind of reactions where you honestly you don't know if you should laugh at him or cry for him. He was listening and bobbing his head to.... wait for it... "A girl like you" from the movie "Barbie: Princess and the Pauper". Yes, this is where you start bursting out in laughs. I know its being stereotypical, but as much as I love Barbie movies, a grown man with tattoos and piercings listening to Barbie songs just seemed too hilarious.
Have I ever mentioned I nearly got burned by a cigarette once? It was an accident but still. I have established that I very much dislike smokers but hey, if you smoke, don't swing and wave your lighted cigarette around like a lightsaber. It is dangerous! I was walking to school once and some guy was smoking and walking, waving his cigarette around like he owned the road. I was rushing to school since I was REALLY late so i tried slipping past them. His cigarette nearly brushed my hand. It was so close. He apologized of course but if your in public, not just cigarettes. Keep anything that can harm other people out of the way. You do realize a lot more people are part of the public other than yourself.
I really can't stand people who talk, scream and laugh really loud in public. I admit, I am guilty of that too. However, it still annoys me. I try anyhow. Not that it is very successful. It just gets really frustrating. Your friend is just a few inches away from you. Not two cabins away. I am pretty sure they can very well hear you. I hate it when people shout in public too. Especially if the scream my name. My mom does that. She would keep yelling "CHERYL!! WHERE ARE YOU?". It gets on my nerves. One, I have a phone, you have a phone. Call me. Two, I hate it when my name is screamed in public. Call it paranoia but I'm sometimes afraid of weirdos following me home or something. It is weird.
Of course not everyone is mean. Like today, I needed directions to meet someone and I sat next to a really nice Malay woman. She gave me directions and even told me when I should alight. I thought she was really nice. Then there are also times when kind souls pick up my wallet of phone when I dropped them and actually run after me to return it. Or the ones who held the lift and doors for me. Sometimes, little simple gestures is all it takes.
These are the little things that get to me. Sure you make think you aren't affecting anyone but in fact it does. A simple "thank you" or a smile would do. No one needs to see you grumble and grouch throwing your temper at random strangers. It really does get to me. There are just some things that really get to me. I know manners sound really stupid to be a blog post. Yes, I know I probably sound like your mother or your wife nagging at you to have some basic manners but some things are taught for a reason.
One of which is shoving. Just because you are in a hurry doesn't mean it gives you the right to jostle people around. The temptation is huge. Trust me. I have been there. Whenever I'm late for classes everyone seems to be walking with crutches. Then again, it still isn't right to jostle people around. You are not the king of the world. Just because you are in a bad mood or simply in a rush, you still can't expect people to instantly form a line with a red carpet for you to stroll across. In fact half the people you are pushing around to get your way would spend the next 3 minutes trying to process what just happened. To be honest, a simple "excuse me", or "I'm sorry" would do.
Then comes the people who blast music EVERYWHERE. Or as I call them, "stereos". Haven't you people heard of earphones? Just because you like your music doesn't mean I have to like it too. If you could afford an iPod, earphones are not that expensive. Maybe you should try them out some time. Of course, I have to admit, I had some pretty hilarious experiences.
Once, I got on the bus heading home and a tough looking guy with tattoos and piercings came on as well. We tapped out cards and we happened to stand next to each other on the sardine-packed bus. He took out he iPhone, flipped through his playlist and the song that came on shocked me. It was the kind of reactions where you honestly you don't know if you should laugh at him or cry for him. He was listening and bobbing his head to.... wait for it... "A girl like you" from the movie "Barbie: Princess and the Pauper". Yes, this is where you start bursting out in laughs. I know its being stereotypical, but as much as I love Barbie movies, a grown man with tattoos and piercings listening to Barbie songs just seemed too hilarious.
Have I ever mentioned I nearly got burned by a cigarette once? It was an accident but still. I have established that I very much dislike smokers but hey, if you smoke, don't swing and wave your lighted cigarette around like a lightsaber. It is dangerous! I was walking to school once and some guy was smoking and walking, waving his cigarette around like he owned the road. I was rushing to school since I was REALLY late so i tried slipping past them. His cigarette nearly brushed my hand. It was so close. He apologized of course but if your in public, not just cigarettes. Keep anything that can harm other people out of the way. You do realize a lot more people are part of the public other than yourself.
I really can't stand people who talk, scream and laugh really loud in public. I admit, I am guilty of that too. However, it still annoys me. I try anyhow. Not that it is very successful. It just gets really frustrating. Your friend is just a few inches away from you. Not two cabins away. I am pretty sure they can very well hear you. I hate it when people shout in public too. Especially if the scream my name. My mom does that. She would keep yelling "CHERYL!! WHERE ARE YOU?". It gets on my nerves. One, I have a phone, you have a phone. Call me. Two, I hate it when my name is screamed in public. Call it paranoia but I'm sometimes afraid of weirdos following me home or something. It is weird.
Of course not everyone is mean. Like today, I needed directions to meet someone and I sat next to a really nice Malay woman. She gave me directions and even told me when I should alight. I thought she was really nice. Then there are also times when kind souls pick up my wallet of phone when I dropped them and actually run after me to return it. Or the ones who held the lift and doors for me. Sometimes, little simple gestures is all it takes.
Monday, 1 October 2012
Opinions on Children
Since it is Children's day today, I felt that this post is quite appropriate and befitting the occasion. Well, it is not universal Children's day but it is celebrated on the first of every October here. It is pretty cool. For kids at least, they get celebrations, presents and a day off from school. How great is that? Vacations are always fun!
Children's day has always been about the children. No matter how much they get on our nerves sometimes or the countless of stupid things they do, they are undeniably cute. From this point on wards, you should have already established the fact that I love children and I am very much against both child abuse and abortion. I will get to that later.
In church, I serve in the worship team at Sunday School. I always loved it! My kids always cheer me up when they sing and praise God. I think they are precious little treasures. Sometimes, when I'm down and not in my best of moods, they would say or do something silly yet cute and it cheers me up. I love playing with them too! They're a lot of fun. More fun than people my age anyways. They have a wilder imagination too. Yes, maybe I fit in with them very well because I'm childish but being childish isn't such a horrible thing.
Children are amazing. They can be brutally honest and I love that. Adults are too afraid of telling the truth because they are too afraid people might leave them or hate them. Children are different. They tell you like it is. Children are so innocent it sometimes hurt. I know a lot of my friend disagree but think about it. In a child's mind everyone good looking is a nice person and ugly people are witches or evil wizards. They also believe life will also be sprinkles and ice-cream. To a kid, having a bad day means having their hair yanked at school or not being able to watch their favorite cartoon.
Sometimes I look at the kids at church and I wonder what they would be like when they grow up. Would some of the girls start cutting themselves or the boys dissolve their lives into games and cigarettes. How many of them would continue walking with God. I always pray for them but sometimes it just hurts that they would grow up and face temptations and the cruelty of life. After all, they can't be sheltered forever by their parents and teachers. They will grow up some day.
As much as i love children, I hate abortion. I'm not going to talk about how life is formed at conception, etc. Let's just cut that out. However, think about it. You manage to live a life. Who cares if it wasn't wonderful. You fell in love, you made friends and you have seen things and yet you are denying a potential human being the chance to experience and enjoy that? If you are opting adoption because you made a mistake, it is YOUR mistake. If I were you, I'd let the kid live and bring him up for adoption. Whether your reason was teenage pregnancy, financial difficulties or serial killers running after you, some other couple somewhere want a child yet can't conceive. Yet you would rather kill the hopes that a child who could potentially be a wonderful adopted son/ daughter of a childless family. Who knows. That feotus you are trying to get rid of could even be the next Olympic gold medalist or a child prodigy.
That being said, I think child abuse is far worse than abortion. Abortion is taking the life of an innocent baby before it could experience the world. At least it didn't live to witness the constant cruelty of humans. Therefore, child abuse is far worse. Sure you let the kid live, then what? Constantly cause him/ her wish he/she was dead? Some people say "torturing is far worse than death". It is true. Everyone rather die a swift, painless death but nobody likes to live in agony and suffering. To be honest, people who abuse children should pick on people their own size. What does it show when you pick on children? That you are a coward?
I think all children should be protected. Sure, they will ave to grow up some day but before they could even fend for themselves they should be treated with love, care and ICE-CREAM!
To all the children out there, HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!
Children's day has always been about the children. No matter how much they get on our nerves sometimes or the countless of stupid things they do, they are undeniably cute. From this point on wards, you should have already established the fact that I love children and I am very much against both child abuse and abortion. I will get to that later.
In church, I serve in the worship team at Sunday School. I always loved it! My kids always cheer me up when they sing and praise God. I think they are precious little treasures. Sometimes, when I'm down and not in my best of moods, they would say or do something silly yet cute and it cheers me up. I love playing with them too! They're a lot of fun. More fun than people my age anyways. They have a wilder imagination too. Yes, maybe I fit in with them very well because I'm childish but being childish isn't such a horrible thing.
Children are amazing. They can be brutally honest and I love that. Adults are too afraid of telling the truth because they are too afraid people might leave them or hate them. Children are different. They tell you like it is. Children are so innocent it sometimes hurt. I know a lot of my friend disagree but think about it. In a child's mind everyone good looking is a nice person and ugly people are witches or evil wizards. They also believe life will also be sprinkles and ice-cream. To a kid, having a bad day means having their hair yanked at school or not being able to watch their favorite cartoon.
Sometimes I look at the kids at church and I wonder what they would be like when they grow up. Would some of the girls start cutting themselves or the boys dissolve their lives into games and cigarettes. How many of them would continue walking with God. I always pray for them but sometimes it just hurts that they would grow up and face temptations and the cruelty of life. After all, they can't be sheltered forever by their parents and teachers. They will grow up some day.
As much as i love children, I hate abortion. I'm not going to talk about how life is formed at conception, etc. Let's just cut that out. However, think about it. You manage to live a life. Who cares if it wasn't wonderful. You fell in love, you made friends and you have seen things and yet you are denying a potential human being the chance to experience and enjoy that? If you are opting adoption because you made a mistake, it is YOUR mistake. If I were you, I'd let the kid live and bring him up for adoption. Whether your reason was teenage pregnancy, financial difficulties or serial killers running after you, some other couple somewhere want a child yet can't conceive. Yet you would rather kill the hopes that a child who could potentially be a wonderful adopted son/ daughter of a childless family. Who knows. That feotus you are trying to get rid of could even be the next Olympic gold medalist or a child prodigy.
That being said, I think child abuse is far worse than abortion. Abortion is taking the life of an innocent baby before it could experience the world. At least it didn't live to witness the constant cruelty of humans. Therefore, child abuse is far worse. Sure you let the kid live, then what? Constantly cause him/ her wish he/she was dead? Some people say "torturing is far worse than death". It is true. Everyone rather die a swift, painless death but nobody likes to live in agony and suffering. To be honest, people who abuse children should pick on people their own size. What does it show when you pick on children? That you are a coward?
I think all children should be protected. Sure, they will ave to grow up some day but before they could even fend for themselves they should be treated with love, care and ICE-CREAM!
To all the children out there, HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!
Friday, 28 September 2012
Opinions on Conformity
Everywhere in society we are told to conform. Girls are told that they need to own cute outfits, make up, nice hair and slim bodies to be perfect. Apple tells us that we need to ave iOS6 to be "in". Teachers and schools tell us that we need to achieve academically to be a good student. The world tells us that only by having human recognition, degrees and earning a truckload of money to be successful. Seldom anyone tells you being deviant is okay. People just tell you to do this and that and we agree that they are right just because everyone is doing it.
Sometimes, conformity can be good. Like the law. It conforms everyone to obey a certain set of rules that functions the society. For example, everyone has to follow that murder is bad and morally wrong, therefore forcing everyone to conform to that is good. Uniforms display conformity as well. It also identifies a person. For example what school they are from, their job or job status. Like policemen have uniforms and their shields to prove their identity while pizza delivery guys wear shirts of their pizzeria to identify themselves. Conformity can also be seen in manners and ethics. For example, people greet or wave to each other when they meet. That is a social norm.
However, conformity can be detrimental as well. Even though conforming is good in certain contexts, conforming to a certain norm can be bad. Lets take the example of the extreme. Cults. They cause you to follow their ideal of a norm and it sometimes turns out to be bad. To be deviant and think for yourself isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it is good to question norms and go against them.
Taking it into a school context. Every school has cliques and groups. Usually, these groups identify who we are and how we behave and react. Naturally a closed group would start to morph and behave alike to each other or at least believe a certain way is right. For example popular crowds might start to believe that they are they best and only they are right, looking down on those who are not of the "same social standing" as them. Being mean to those around them and even worse, making use of them. It disgusts me. I have been bullied before and I didn't like it. Closed groups like these hurt people without question and sometimes it is all just because they wanted to accepted within the group. Questioning the decision of the group is usually not up for debate since it could mean default exclusion and ridicule. However, does conforming and the desperation of being accepted hurt someone else and blind your vision? If it does, why do these people still do it?
Although for most people drawing anywhere you want and walking around aimlessly for no apparent reason is not what they would do all the time, it is how my close group of friends in High School were. Even embarrassing ourselves occasionally (mostly, it is just me). That is our group's norm. It sounds boring but it is what we do. To be honest, I find it really fun. Not a lot of people's idea of fun but it is mine and I love it. That is our norm and we conformed to it.
Being deviant is good too. Whoever says you have to be a certain person to be successful or look/ dress a certain way be considered beautiful. Show some individuality! Honestly, if I had the money, I would've traded my entire closet of cartooned shirts and jeans for spiked collar shirts, jeans with studs and millions of jackets. I love those. I don't know why but I do. Of course, I love my cartoon t-shirts too. They show my silly and childish side which I embrace completely. Everyone tells me that I'm getting too fat and some even associate that to being ugly but you know what? I love food and if being the world's idea of beautiful means eating less of what I love, no thank you. I'd rather stay your ideal of a "ugly girl" than become a plastic robot of society. Yes, I am cutting down on chips and KFC but that doesn't mean I will give them up completely. I just don't eat as much of them since I am getting overweight. Not that I care that much about looking size 2 but being overweight is never good for my health so oh well.
Conformity can change people for the better or for the worst. Most importantly, we don't take everything at face value. Sometimes it is good to question norms and think for yourself. Just because the world says it is doesn't mean it is so. I utterly detest the phrase "That is just how life is. Deal with it.". If "life" is just the way it is, then there wouldn't be a point. Always wanted to slap whoever said that to me. Bad things isn't "life. NEVER conform to that phrase. It is basically telling people that it is how it is and you cannot question it or turn the situation around positively. Let me just tell you. If something horrible happens, question it, change it. Be an agent of change, not a victim of one. There is way more to "life" so I decided not to "just let it be". I am not you. I question things even if it is authority so I can get answers and reasoning.
Sometimes, conformity can be good. Like the law. It conforms everyone to obey a certain set of rules that functions the society. For example, everyone has to follow that murder is bad and morally wrong, therefore forcing everyone to conform to that is good. Uniforms display conformity as well. It also identifies a person. For example what school they are from, their job or job status. Like policemen have uniforms and their shields to prove their identity while pizza delivery guys wear shirts of their pizzeria to identify themselves. Conformity can also be seen in manners and ethics. For example, people greet or wave to each other when they meet. That is a social norm.
However, conformity can be detrimental as well. Even though conforming is good in certain contexts, conforming to a certain norm can be bad. Lets take the example of the extreme. Cults. They cause you to follow their ideal of a norm and it sometimes turns out to be bad. To be deviant and think for yourself isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it is good to question norms and go against them.
Taking it into a school context. Every school has cliques and groups. Usually, these groups identify who we are and how we behave and react. Naturally a closed group would start to morph and behave alike to each other or at least believe a certain way is right. For example popular crowds might start to believe that they are they best and only they are right, looking down on those who are not of the "same social standing" as them. Being mean to those around them and even worse, making use of them. It disgusts me. I have been bullied before and I didn't like it. Closed groups like these hurt people without question and sometimes it is all just because they wanted to accepted within the group. Questioning the decision of the group is usually not up for debate since it could mean default exclusion and ridicule. However, does conforming and the desperation of being accepted hurt someone else and blind your vision? If it does, why do these people still do it?
Although for most people drawing anywhere you want and walking around aimlessly for no apparent reason is not what they would do all the time, it is how my close group of friends in High School were. Even embarrassing ourselves occasionally (mostly, it is just me). That is our group's norm. It sounds boring but it is what we do. To be honest, I find it really fun. Not a lot of people's idea of fun but it is mine and I love it. That is our norm and we conformed to it.
Being deviant is good too. Whoever says you have to be a certain person to be successful or look/ dress a certain way be considered beautiful. Show some individuality! Honestly, if I had the money, I would've traded my entire closet of cartooned shirts and jeans for spiked collar shirts, jeans with studs and millions of jackets. I love those. I don't know why but I do. Of course, I love my cartoon t-shirts too. They show my silly and childish side which I embrace completely. Everyone tells me that I'm getting too fat and some even associate that to being ugly but you know what? I love food and if being the world's idea of beautiful means eating less of what I love, no thank you. I'd rather stay your ideal of a "ugly girl" than become a plastic robot of society. Yes, I am cutting down on chips and KFC but that doesn't mean I will give them up completely. I just don't eat as much of them since I am getting overweight. Not that I care that much about looking size 2 but being overweight is never good for my health so oh well.
Conformity can change people for the better or for the worst. Most importantly, we don't take everything at face value. Sometimes it is good to question norms and think for yourself. Just because the world says it is doesn't mean it is so. I utterly detest the phrase "That is just how life is. Deal with it.". If "life" is just the way it is, then there wouldn't be a point. Always wanted to slap whoever said that to me. Bad things isn't "life. NEVER conform to that phrase. It is basically telling people that it is how it is and you cannot question it or turn the situation around positively. Let me just tell you. If something horrible happens, question it, change it. Be an agent of change, not a victim of one. There is way more to "life" so I decided not to "just let it be". I am not you. I question things even if it is authority so I can get answers and reasoning.
Opinions on Gangnam Style
Just in case some of you don't know what "Gangnam Style" is, it is a song that went viral. Everyone is listening to it and it has gained recognition. It is also a song I dislike a lot. Well, for those of you who haven't watched the music video from which I would make some of my references, here it is.
Before I list down all the reasons why I dislike this, I have to say, it does have some deserved credit. It is fast, upbeat and really catchy. It could work for clubs or wherever you want loud dancing music. In fact, sometimes I think the only reason why it went viral is because it is catchy. The video seemed pretty fun too. Not because of all the sexual crap but because of the fun bright colors and utter silliness. Like swimming in a spring. Plus, it is a man with groove.You cannot deny that. As much as I abhor this song and music video, he does have some groove.
To be honest, what I found stupidest in this video which has ironically been the best part about it was the stupid dancing. Honestly, they look like overly excited kids who had too much cotton candy and decided to take a ride on the merry-go-round. Kid who would go up on a toy horse, run, scream and hop around like an idiot trying their best to stay on the horse. Or in the this case, singing while hopping around on the horse. Some of my friends say that the dance is hard to master but honestly it isn't. I took about 5 minutes in front of the mirror to master it. Still thought it looked extremely stupid and I honestly have no idea why everyone is doing it. First they tell me that I shouldn't laugh aloud in public or do stupid things because it is embarrassing. Then, they go around doing the silliest dance of the century. This is a big burn to all his fans but ever since this video came out, the Macarena is no longer the worst dance ever.
To be honest, the stupid dancing and it's stupid craze is the biggest contribution to why I dislike it so much. However, there is another thing that bugs me a lot about the video. Half the time it shows him as a player throwing himself on girls after girls. One. Don't these girls respect themselves? Two. Doesn't he have an ounce of respect for women. I know he's rich and famous but still. Half of the video he acts like a crazy pervert who has seen women for the first time after being locked in an enclosed cell. It is weird.
Well, I have said my piece.
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Opinions on Relationships
No, I don't mean BGR. I meant relationships. Human relationships. More specifically, relationships between loved ones like friends and family. In my world God, my family and my friends are the most important aspects of my life. God being the first, family second and friends ranked third. I don't rely on my friends a lot but they are still crucial to my life because without them, my life would be pretty boring. In fact, dare I say that sometimes I believe my interaction with them shapes who I am. After all, I see them three quarters of the day in school. Imagine how sad school would be if I had no friends.
Respect is a key ingredient to a good relationship. I know this is a cliche but it is a cliche for a reason. It is very true. However, respect goes both ways. It has to be earned but it is more fragile than a glass vase. Respect can also be lost in a blink of an eye. However, when it comes to the topic of respect, I have to clear a HUGE misunderstanding. Just because you are older or hold a higher position, it doesn't mean the other party has to show you respect while you push them around like dogs. Like I said, respect goes both ways.
"We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak" -Epictetus
I am sure a lot of you have come across this very famous quote. It is short, simple and straight forward. Everyone says that you can tell how good a relationship is by the way communication happens within the relationship. Listening is a large part of communication. In fact, without listening and giving impervious responses, you could be hinting that you don't care. Also, the ability to listen leads to respect.
Everyone has their fair share of disagreements in a relationship. Be it between lovers or friends or families, there will be disagreements. Do you just sit on it and let it die? No. You don't. Waiting for a problem to disappear might just be as well as waiting for the relationship to be done and over. Disagreements happen because two parties cannot come to unanimous decision but when you just listen, you would be able to come up with ways to compromise or even come up with a situation where both parties win. Every relationship has it troubles but sometimes, being able to talk it out is good for the relationship. If you ask me, I'd rather have friendships that aren't smooth. At least that way we would have a chance to improve both ourselves and the relationship. Although my boyfriend and I care about each other a lot, we still get into heated arguments sometimes but when we calm ourselves down and lay down everything we are unhappy about, it actually makes us feel better.
Our relationships define our identity as well. For me, I am a christian a daughter, a cousin, a friend, a girlfriend, a student and etc. Sure it does sound like I have split personalities but they are all me. With different roles in my relationships with different people sometimes it is hard to strike a balance. Sometimes my mother complains I spend too much time with my friends while I complain to my boyfriend that we don't get to hang out a lot. Sometimes I feel that I spend too much time at church and neglect my roles as a student. Honestly, without God's blessings I'd probably have flunked and dropped out of High School a long time ago. However, it is always to strike a balance. It doesn't mean to divide your time b/w all your roles but it means putting your roles in priority then diffuse the time you spend as that role. Since I put being a Christian as my top priority, I do actually love spending more time with God.
Basically there is a balance in every relationship and how we handle it is always important.
Respect is a key ingredient to a good relationship. I know this is a cliche but it is a cliche for a reason. It is very true. However, respect goes both ways. It has to be earned but it is more fragile than a glass vase. Respect can also be lost in a blink of an eye. However, when it comes to the topic of respect, I have to clear a HUGE misunderstanding. Just because you are older or hold a higher position, it doesn't mean the other party has to show you respect while you push them around like dogs. Like I said, respect goes both ways.
"We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak" -Epictetus
I am sure a lot of you have come across this very famous quote. It is short, simple and straight forward. Everyone says that you can tell how good a relationship is by the way communication happens within the relationship. Listening is a large part of communication. In fact, without listening and giving impervious responses, you could be hinting that you don't care. Also, the ability to listen leads to respect.
Everyone has their fair share of disagreements in a relationship. Be it between lovers or friends or families, there will be disagreements. Do you just sit on it and let it die? No. You don't. Waiting for a problem to disappear might just be as well as waiting for the relationship to be done and over. Disagreements happen because two parties cannot come to unanimous decision but when you just listen, you would be able to come up with ways to compromise or even come up with a situation where both parties win. Every relationship has it troubles but sometimes, being able to talk it out is good for the relationship. If you ask me, I'd rather have friendships that aren't smooth. At least that way we would have a chance to improve both ourselves and the relationship. Although my boyfriend and I care about each other a lot, we still get into heated arguments sometimes but when we calm ourselves down and lay down everything we are unhappy about, it actually makes us feel better.
Our relationships define our identity as well. For me, I am a christian a daughter, a cousin, a friend, a girlfriend, a student and etc. Sure it does sound like I have split personalities but they are all me. With different roles in my relationships with different people sometimes it is hard to strike a balance. Sometimes my mother complains I spend too much time with my friends while I complain to my boyfriend that we don't get to hang out a lot. Sometimes I feel that I spend too much time at church and neglect my roles as a student. Honestly, without God's blessings I'd probably have flunked and dropped out of High School a long time ago. However, it is always to strike a balance. It doesn't mean to divide your time b/w all your roles but it means putting your roles in priority then diffuse the time you spend as that role. Since I put being a Christian as my top priority, I do actually love spending more time with God.
Basically there is a balance in every relationship and how we handle it is always important.
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